The DD 214, paperwork issued to military service members who reach retirement or are otherwise discharged, is the capstone to one’s military career. It represents the complete, verified record of a person’s time in service, including their awards and distinctions and even their rank. It is often viewed as a sort of end goal or accomplishment for those in uniform.
One young soldier decided to write a parody song about the DD 214 “mountain” – regular life outside the military. And the tune is actually pretty funny.
Check it out in the video below:
The song takes its sound from Big Rock Candy Mountain, a country-folk song first recorded in 1928 that idealizes a hobo’s vision of paradise.
Here are the lyrics to the soldier’s parody of the tune:
One evening as the sun went down
And the Ranger’s fires were burning,
I spotted an E-4 coming down, and he said “Boys, I’m not going!
For I’m headed for a land that’s far away beside the Crystal Fountain!
So come with me, we’ll go and see the DD-214 Mountain!
In the DD-214, there’s a land that’s Fair and Bright!
And profiles grow out on the trees, and you sleep out every night!
The sick call lines are short, and the sun shines every day!
On the birds and the bees, and the cigarette trees, and the Gatorade springs, and the bluebird sings in the DD-214 Mountain!
In the DD-214 Mountain, all the Cops roll on mopeds, and E-7s lose their voices and hot women are not Dependas!
Supply has everything you’d need, grab a beer at any time!
Well, I’m bound to go where there ain’t no snow, where there ain’t no fall, where the wind don’t blow in the DD-214 Mountain!
In the DD-214 Mountain you never have to change your socks!
And little streams of alcohol come’a tricklin’ down the rocks!
Sergeant Major’s always waitin’ for you, and you reply with “‘Sup?”
There’s a lake of stew and of whiskey, too;
you can paddle all around ’em in a big canoe
In the DD-214 Mountain! In the DD-214 Mountain, all the jails are made of tin!
And you can walk right out again as soon as you get in.
There’s no such thing as a rucksack, PAX Sheds, or C-130’s!
Well, I’m bound to stay where ya sleep all day, and they shot the jerk who invented work in the DD-214 Mountain!
I’ll see you queers in about two years in the DD-214 Mountain!