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Police department urges residents who have run out of toilet paper to stop calling 911

Oregon State Police. (Oregon Department of Transportation/Flickr)
March 17, 2020

An Oregon police department is dealing with an odd emergency of its own during the coronavirus outbreak: too many people calling 911 because they’ve run out of toilet paper.

The Newport Police Department reminded local residents that there are more urgent issues than being short on toilet paper.

“It’s hard to believe that we even have to post this,” the department wrote on its Facebook page early Sunday morning. “Do not call 9-1-1 just because you ran out of toilet paper. You will survive without our assistance.”

Toilet paper shortages are rampant, both in big-box stores such as Walmart and Costco, and on Amazon, which is working “around the clock” to restock the necessity.

The police department listed some toilet paper alternatives out of history, citing the fact that both Mayans and colonial-era Americans used corn cobs.

For what it’s worth, bidets — the bathroom appliance that sprays water in its user’s rear — are also gaining in popularity.

In any case, the Newport Police Department advises residents to be “resourceful” and “patient” during these tough times.

“There is a TP shortage,” they write. “This too shall pass. Just don’t call 9-1-1. We cannot bring you toilet paper.”


© 2020 USA Today