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Britney Spears: Our Secret Weapon Against Sea Pirates

Britney Shows Peace Signs
May 14, 2014

You knew her as a Mouseketeer, and then as a pop star whose headline-grabbing personal life was a train wreck.

Now get to know Britney Spears, weaponized culture figure.

Somali Pirates Surrender

Somali Pirates Have Taboo Against Western Culture

According to the UK Metro, commercial ships in the Indian Ocean have begun using Spears’ music to ward off Somali pirates. The pirates have a taboo against Western culture, and flee whenever they hear “Oops, I Did It Again,” or “Baby One More Time.”

Other musicians are effective, but none captures the magnificence of Western superiority like Spears.

According to Reuters, the cost of Somali piracy is down worldwide since its peak in 2011,
when a dozen or more merchant ships were being held captive at once, some for multimillion-dollar ransoms.

Since then, growing use of private security details and the presence of international warships have largely prevented successful attacks. No large vessels were seized in 2013.

“The efforts of the international community and the shipping industry have considerably reduced the threat of Somali piracy,” says Jens Madsen, one of the report’s authors. “But we have yet to achieve the goal of … zero vessels captured and zero hostages held.”

The Somali dread of Britney Spears is kind of like the way The Blaze host Dana Loesch feels about the band Nickelback:


Groups like Boko Haram (“No Western Learning”) try to prevent Western culture, with its easy access to information and flush toilets, from infiltrating their seventh-century lifestyle.